Bewilderment

I am pretty much qualified for only one job, well, on paper, as I have an MA in Theatre Directing. So imagine my delight when a job came up at a professional theatre for a year's post as in-house Trainee Director. Finally a job spec that matched where I am at in my career perfectly. So I sent in my CV and application form and, as requested, a letter stating why I am the best person for the job. I always find these things difficult to write, but I had an heroic stab at it, most of the text is included below...I was a little delayed in confirming references, but ended up sending them two very good references last week.
The thing is, I just found out today I never even got shortlisted for interview. Beyond my disappointment, I'd just love to know where I had gone wrong in my application so that things like this do not continue to happen, so that I am no longer excluded from my chosen metier, so that I can begin to build a career. I have great faith in my skills and I have excellent experience, as well as training in some very interesting subjects. But there is something about me that just doesn't seem to fit in to theatre land. I know I am probably limiting myself by even writing this down and I need to correct this problem at thought level, but I guess I am seeking a greater cosmic answer as to why I am continually thwarted in this career in spite of my investment of time, passion and energy. Is this God's way of saying "Don't pursue this? There is something better that you can do?" But I have no inkling of what that would be. Or is he teaching me perseverance? That I have to learn to keep putting myself out there and just being myself in spite of it all.
As soon as I received the news, my boyfriend started going on about how I need to learn how to portray myself, that I need to be realistic about the"rat-race" etc etc, that maybe I should think of an alternative career. I told him, "I don't even know what career I want right now" I kinda didn't need to hear all that. I don't really want to change who I am, I accept that maybe I can look at my application critically and see if there is anything I can refine, but change? He said that I'd probably keep applying and get some shitty job somewhere I didn't want to end up.
Am I in denial for not wanting to listen to that? Am I not being realistic in not wanting to change who I am? Am I being foolish to persevere? Is there something I am just getting wrong that I can't see? Am I the wrong kind of person for this industry? Or do I just have to work through this to find the lesson? I am sure if God intended something else for me, it would be alot clearer. Oh I am terribly confused! I can't think of the most constructive way to think of this, other than that job was not for me and there is probably a wonderful opportunity coming along which I can't yet have considered which I would have missed had I got it.
That is of course on a Cosmic level. I am still utterly bewildered as to why my skills didn't recommend themselves on a human level!

"I am extremely excited about the prospect of applying for the post of Trainee Director at the ----- Theatre. Having worked in Theatre for thirteen years now and dedicated most of that time towards developing myself through various methods of training and exploring my passion through both professional and self-motivated practice, I feel the post has a lot to offer me in the further training it affords, the opportunity to learn from the experience of those who have been working in my field for longer than I and the focus it will provide in challenging me to synthesise all that I have learned to become a true professional, fully capable of being able to function in and contribute to the professional arena and the community in a wider sense.
Equally I feel I have a lot to offer as a candidate for this position. I have experienced a wide variety of training methods and have cultivated a number of skills, some of which I have chosen to develop further in my own time after the initial training had taken place. As well as having trained as a theatre director on the MA in Theatre Directing at Middlesex University, I trained as an actor at the Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin where I got a thorough grounding in all basic skills an actor needs, such as Voice, Movement, Text etc. This gives me greater insight as a director into the actor’s process, is wonderful for troubleshooting on a technical level and understanding what their needs or perspectives might be in rehearsal. Also at the Gaiety, I was introduced to a myriad of other disciplines including clowning, short and long-form improvisation, Viewpoints and other forms of devising. These can often serve to enrich the rehearsal process.
I was very fortunate to be accepted onto the MA course at Middlesex without a prior degree, as the course leader Leon Rubin had confidence that my previous experience demonstrated my ability to complete the course (which I have just graduated from this Summer, having handed in m dissertation last fall.) The unique set-up of the course allowed me to explore four very specific aspects of theatre in great detail and gave me a great armoury of skills with which to work. At the Middlesex campus I did intensive modules on directing Shakespeare and Comedy where my teachers included Leon Rubin, John Russell Brown and Janet Suzman. I then travelled to Moscow to study at the Russian Academy of Theatre Art (GITIS) where I explored the techniques of Michael Chekhov as well as getting an important grounding in the work of Stanislavsky and Meyerhold’s Biomechanics. The following year I travelled to Bali to study at ISI, Denpasar for a module on Theatre of the East.
What was most valuable about working in these countries was that it made me become much more open to different perspectives on performance and rehearsal and much more flexible in the way I approached things, opening up a whole new range of possibilities in my mind. Finally, I applied my passion for Michael Chekhov and Long-form Improvisation to explore a unique way of rehearsing for Howard Barker’s “Wounds to the Face” and created a Director’s Workbook for my dissertation.
I felt it important to develop what I had learned in the course and take it further for this project. The continual development of my craft is very important to me and while I have been in Glasgow I have taken a great deal of time to do further study on what interests me and learn through working with other people in my own time. Three topics from my training that have particularly seduced me so far are the work of Michael Chekhov, Chicago-style long-form Improv and, more recently, Viewpoints. In July 2006, I set up an Improv Ensemble and Theatre Company with other actors to explore Long-form Improv with a view to regular performances. I gained a great deal from this project which lasted a year. We would meet three times weekly for three hours at a time and worked to create an ensemble which could create sustained and completely spontaneous performances from an audience suggestion. However, we used the rehearsal time not only to master improvisation skills, but also to deepen and innovate these skills through the work of Michael Chekhov. We also went onto develop some interesting work on archetypes and the ideas of Augusto Boal. As a group I am proud to say we had some very successful performances at the Comedy Festival and the West End Festival, and I gained a great deal as a director in the sense that this gave me great opportunity to explore and innovate. I took much of this work into my final dissertation.
As a result of all this I feel I have a lot to offer in terms of workshops as well as in rehearsal, both with professional actors and young people. Prior to moving to the UK, I worked for 18 months with the Gaiety Youth Theatre company as administrator, assistant director and teacher for young people between the ages of 15 and 19. I very much enjoyed this and learned a lot from supporting them in putting on shows, nurturing their talent and teaching them new skills, allowing them to surprise themselves with talents they never thought they had and instilling them the importance of working as a good ensemble. For this reason I am extremely excited about the possibility of working with -----.
While working as an actor over in Ireland, I gained experience working in the professional industry and its demands with large companies such as The Gate and The Machine. I also did some stage management and costume for Druid and other touring companies. As I mentioned earlier with my acting experience, this knowledge of other facets of working in theatre gives me much more insight into the perspectives of those I am working with as a director so that I can be realistic in what I am asking of them, but also in certain cases, knowing what they are capable of, much braver. When working on a production, however, I find it imperative that I remain conscious at all times of what hat I am wearing in any given situation and act accordingly. From having directed full-scale productions of “Dangerous Liaisons” and “The Talented Mr Ripley” (both of which I am happy to say had sell out performances!) and also having set up my own theatre company, Razed Curtain, for a time, I have had good exposure to the practicalities involved in putting on a production. This includes budgets, fundraising, hiring and organising rehearsals, but most importantly as a director, in being able to come up with inventive and meaningful concepts for shows that are restricted by budget. This, for me, is sometimes a very enjoyable part of my work!
At the end of the day, however, I love directing because I love working with actors. I love finding ways to bring performances out in them that they never thought they were capable of and in delighting the audience through this. I love to create a safe and dynamic rehearsal space where they feel they can give their best and where they genuinely get a sense of their own artistry. This is why Chekhov and Improv and Viewpoints appeal so much to me. I also love directing because I get to involve my passion for music and film and literature and visual arts and travel in creating new worlds that others can co-create and inhabit and witness. I believe in theatre’s capacity to give back to the community and the wider society in rich and life-affirming ways. I believe in drama as a tool for helping people to access parts in themselves they never realised existed, whether as performers or audience members, and this is an important part of why I am applying for this role. I have been living in Glasgow for three years now and this has become my home. I realise this may sound somewhat sentimental, but I have a great liking and admiration for this city and its people and I have enjoyed engaging with them through my theatre practice during my time here. This role would allow me to do this on an even more consistent basis and, through working with -----, allow me to give back more to this community which has made me feel so welcome."

Too sentimental? To passionate? Or am I just a weirdo without knowing it??? Or should I even bother to think about all this? Or will they give me feedback if I ask so I can choose to act on it in future?
Far too many questions...I'm going to download more techno!