A Day for Contemplation

I am having a quiet day all to myself today. The last week has been so busy, getting everything organised for the drama classes I am hoping to run. I have been getting flyers designed, ready and then been going all around town putting them up and handing them out. So far I have five or six signed up for classes, one person has signed up for three different workshop. So the next step is to start getting all my thoughts in order for these classes. Plan out a rough shape, and reread enough to inspire myself to teach again.
I've also been making some headway as regards making contacts with the University. I have about three different people who want to meet up with me to talk theatre, one of them the head of the BA Acting course recently set up there and another a lecturer on the MA in Theatre Studies who has spent alot of time in Russia, so we have alot of common interests. I am looking forward to just talking. I hope I can remember how to talk about theatre. Lately I have just been putting one foot in front of the other and going with what is happening. So I won't panic. I have no idea what I want out of any of this so there is nothing to get nervous about. I do need to jump into reading my Chekhov and Stanislavski books though. Any scrap of free time I've had for reading lately has been spent on "Entering the Castle" which has been consuming my attention. Feels so horrible to need to wrest away from it when I am finding it so absorbing! I am only reading it for now and listening to the cds to get an overview. Partly because there is so much in it and I want to get a sense of trajectory and I suppose partly because some of the work seems so very hard in it. When I read the exercises in some of the rooms, I can't even begin to think of answers for them. So I guess that's why I am just getting a feel for it right now, beginning to pray more and write the odd private journal entry.
Today though, I feel like starting. I made a journal on my laptop just for working on it, where I can write my exercises and put anything that inspires me from the book into. I want to collect images of the different rooms to spark my imagination, I want to put quotes and favourite pieces of sacred writing in there. Like a kind of scrapbook/journal that is for my eyes only.
Then when I was looking for an image of the castle that appealed to me, I came across a couple of different blogs (not on blogger, with different hosts) that really appealed to me, of people writing about their spiritual quests and exploring the relationship between Art and the Spirit. The relationship between Art and Mysticism is really beginning to interest me. For now, anyway. I am a fickle soul. I have commitment problems!
But I guess that is why I did start this blog. To explore the effects my spiritual search is having on my life. Within the bounds of privacy of course! What I promised myself was to write each time only on a given topic without being too confessional or digressive as if I was writing it only for myself. To write as if I was writing for others, though I don't mind in the least if anyone reads it or not. I guess to impose some discipline on my mind by consciously forming thoughts which I need to take responsibility for as there is the possibility others could see them. To solidify my inner life somewhat? It is so nebulous in there!
So I should write in it more. I feel bad that I haven't. But on the other hand I am aware that, in this period of my life, there is a need for privacy too and sometimes I don't have anything to say that I would like to say to anyone else. That's why I need to start "Entering the Castle" properly today, even if I haven't fully given the book the once over. (I can still finish it from the point I am at in the Sixth Mansion and start from the start in greater and more laborious detail).
I just don't want the self-examination in the first three mansions to become too morbid!